Bat Shit Cray

So I dig so hard farmers wanna hire me

But first farmers gotta find me

What’s 50 poops to a muhfucka like me

Can you please remind me?

Dig so hard

Bat shit crazy

Y’all don’t know that shit don’t phase me

The bats could go pooping on my back and I look at you like this shit gravy

Dig so hard, this shit weird

We ain’t even s’pose to be here,

Scoop so hard, since we here

It’s only right that we be fair

Psycho, I’m liable to go Kwao

Take your pick, Enoch, Kofi, 'Manda, Cave 6

Dig so hard

Got a broke scoop, Scoopers that don't scoop poop

Scoopers that’s losing poop, hidden behind all these big rocks

S-scoop so hard

I’m shocked too

I’m supposed to be keeping bees too

If you took a break like I took a break

You’d be in caves getting pooped on too

Dig so hard

Let’s get pooped on, scooping poop for like 6 days

Full buckets, crocus bags, spillin’ poop on my hikin' boots

So scoop so hard

Bitch behave, just might let you meet Lion,

Bat cave's D. Lee, I’m movin’ the poop to the farm

Dig so hard farmers wanna hire me

Bat shit cray

She said yo can we get mulch at the cave?

I said look you need to crawl to get in

Come and meet me in the rat bat cave

And show me why you deserve to have it all

S-scoop so hard

Bat shit cray (bat shit cray), ain’t it Kwao?

Dig so hard

What she order (what she order), rat bat poop

S-scoop so hard

Your scoop so old, this old thing

Dig so hard

Act like you’ll never be around muhfuckas like this again

Dirty girl, grab her hand

Fuck that bitch she don’t wanna scoop

Excuse my French but I’m in poop (I’m just sayin’)

Princess Alem ain’t do it right if you ask me

Cause I was her I would have gone without shoes

What's mulch my farmer?

What's guano my scooper?

What's dirty my digger?

What's that dripping, Joshua?

Farmers say I’m so smelly

Cause I’m suffering from bein' dirty

Got my bats in caves

And they poopin mountains, huh!

I don't even know what that means.

(No one knows what it means, but it's provocative)

No, it's not

(It gets the people going!)

Scoop so hard farmers wanna hire me

Dig so hard farmers wanna hire me

You are now watching the poop

Please let me get in the cave

These other farmers is lyin’

Actin’ like the bat poop ain’t mine

I got that rat bat in its cave

You know how many buckets I scoop?

Please let me get in the cave

The guano in the poop hole

The bats is on the ceiling

I know I’m bout to scoop it

How you know, I got that feeling

You are now watching the poop

Please let me into the cave

I’m definitely in the cave

Beemergency Team to the Rescue!

In the past week or so we have performed two emergency wild colony extractions! The first call came when Erin and I were at the beach. We were just hanging out when Kwao came down and told us to suit up quick! Kwao's friend, Lloydie, had a beehive hanging precariously above a path he frequently walks. We needed to remove it so it wouldn't fall on someone. So we quickly suited up, picked up Lloydie, and headed to the hive!

The hive was in a duck ant's nest hanging over a path. We took it town and got to work. This hive had a surprising amount of honey-a nice treat! We tied all the brood comb in and got to work finding the queen. This queen took forever to find. It is hard to find her in termite's nests because there are so many crevices she can hide in. Kwao actually spotted her twice but she ran away and hid. Luckily, the third time was the charm! We got her in the queen cage and put her into the box. Once the rest of the bees sensed where she was, they all started marching into the box. A couple days ago we moved the hive down to the bee yard at the house and they seem to be doing well :)

Precarious hive

Going in the hive!

We performed our next beemergency rescue yesterday. We stumbled upon this hive that seriously needed some help! Kwao, Joshua, and I were at the hardware store buying some more supplies when the store owner told Kwao about a hive he had heard about but didn't have time to go get. He told us where to find it and said we we're welcome to it. The hive was in a tree stump in a bulldozed plot of land right off the road near Annotto Bay. We covered the exposed comb with leaves so they wouldn't melt and left to pick up Erin and Desmond. These poor bees had been the victims of development. A bulldozer had knocked down the stump they lived, destroying their home and leaving them out in the sun to bake. The comb was lying on the ground and there were dead bees everywhere. It was really sad. All we could do is give them a new home in a safe place and wait and see.

The shaded bees

This queen also took forever to find. Although it is nerve wracking when you can't find her for a while, the better a queen can hide from you, the stronger she probably is. And a strong queen is great for a hive so it is a bit of a give and take. Anyway, this queen took us a long time but I FOUND HER! It was my first queen spotting and it was exhilarating. She is beautiful.

The drones we saw were bigger than half an inch long and they were super fat. We didn't know how big the queen was going to be or how dark since these bees were bigger and darker than normal but she was very normal. Some of the drones were even bigger than her!

The queen was hiding among all these bees!

The queen in her cage. All the bees are already surrouding her so you can't even see her big butt!

After we got the queen, we left to give them some time to get into the box. A guy who had stopped to watch what we were doing ended up showing us another hive we can take down. It is an exposed hive and we expect to get it in the next few days--assuming a hurricane doesn't stop us!

After looking at that hive we went home for dinner and then went back out to pick our bees up. Usually we let the hive stay where the old hive was for a week or more so the bees get used to their new home. However, because this one was right next to the road and the bees had already been traumatized we decided to take them home right away so no one would steal them. The drive home went well. The bees got out of the hive and into the bag but luckily we used three bags so no problem! Now the bees are chillin in the bee yard and seem happy. We'll let the queen out in a few days and I hope they'll stick around.

Note: The bulldozed hive was the first hive we have taken out where no one got stung. Not once. Not even Kwao. It was amazing. The bees were so calm, I hope because they realized we were trying to help them.

Erin and Kwao with the hive

Me with the hive

Adios, Tom!

Tom has left us. He went back to Honduras a few days ago. I learned so much from him this past month, I'm really glad I got the opportunity to work with him. Hopefully I will get to in the future. Until then, thanks, Tom!

Baby Goats!!

Okay so I've been a little lazy about blogging lately but I promise a real update soon. But for now...

THE GOAT NEXT DOOR JUST HAD BABIES!! These pictures are from less than an hour after they were born!!

Drill, Baby, Drill!

We struck sap!

Midnight Bee-napping

Just kidding. Erin and I could never stay up that late. But it was as close to midnight as we are ever going to get. A couple of days ago we moved two of the wild hives we caught up to Kwao's farm and one down to the house. Each hive had been left in it's original location for over a week so the bees had settled themselves and gotten used to their new homes. It was a tricky job. First, you have to do everything at  night, after it gets dark. If you do it earlier, not all the bees will have returned from foraging and they might get left behind. However, bees are also attracted to light so using lots of flashlights also poses a problem. A combination of overpreparedness and minimal flashlight use works best.

Moving the bees

The distance we were moving the bees was too far to walk (the farther away you move them, the less likely they'll return to the site of their previous home) so we had to get the hive ready to be moved by car. Since we also would be riding in the car, this meant making sure there was no way for the aggitated bees to get out. First, we lit the smoker and drove the bees chilling on the landing pad back into the hive. Then, we stuffed the entrance with a plastic bag so the bees couldn't get out. We then tied three separate garbage bags over the hive. Carefully, Kwao carried the hive back to the car and placed it on cushions in the back. Erin and I jumped in next to the hive to prevent it from moving as much as possible and we were off! Of the three hives we have moved we haven't had any problems so far. However, it only takes a small hole in our bags for the bees to join us in the car. Therefore, Erin and I ride with our gear on just to be safe.

Here are some real pictures of our night-time adventures:

Kwao tying up the garbage bags

Erin inspecting the hive once we let the bees out

The next day: Kwao with the beginnings of his apiary

Meet the Family!

So I realized that I've been blogging about my experiences in Jamaica without giving any background on the people that I'm living and working with. So here goes!

Kwao, man of the house

Agape, the most patient mother I have ever met

Emmanuel, 12; hates bees, loves guineps

Melchizedek, 10; always tricking me

Joshua, 7; "I like that I hate you and I love that you hate me"

Enoch, 4; "Enoch, can I take your picture?" "NO!"

Kofi, 20 months; hates clothes, loves things that belong to him (everything)

Erin, housemate and fellow intern

Tom, beekeeping expert

Jessica, doesn't technically live with us but cooks our delicious meals, is terrified of bees

Lady, mangy dog, looks more like a rat

Suzie, "the rotweiler that will eat my face," according to Enoch, I don't think so

Wasp, always in our house making the long trek from under Erin's bed to under my bed

There are also some cats, I'm not really sure how many. I've been told numbers between zero and six.